Well dear readers, it happened. After two years of dodging her, Lady Rona has finally laid hands on me and it was NOT to give me a gentle massage!!! Even though I asked her very nicely, can you believe it? What a bitch. I’ll say it!!! Nobody else may have the courage, but I do!!!
This week has not been, shall we say, awesome. I had a fever on Monday and a painful chest cough the rest of the week. I’ve been blowing my nose so much I got those adorable little dry skin flakes around my nostrils (and this is only DAYS after I got a facial, so for me to look so ugly so soon is really a travesty) (I’m jk I could never be ugly, even the phlegm I cough up is sparkling gold).
Overall, it hasn’t really been “fun,” but thankfully it hasn’t been the worst illness of my life, or even the worst week of my life! Darling Al is here quarantining with me in my, yes, studio apartment (we both got the ‘vid) and we’ve found many creative ways to entertain each other: we’ve been doing a 1,000-piece puzzle and sometimes, we step out onto the fire escape when one of us rips a big fart. We celebrated their birthday on Thursday, and despite us both being sick, it was a very special day full of well-deserved Al love and lots of yummy treats delivered contact-free. The whole ordeal could be worse! That is certainly true.
In the few short/long days that I’ve been quarantined, I’ve learned many things about myself and the way I live and I figured I’d share a few with you, kind readers, for your enjoyment. If you don’t enjoy them, BUZZ OFF!!!!!!!
1. Living alone is a series of taking things out and putting them back.
I considered whether this was true for any living setup, and I think there’s a case to be made that it is, but more than anything, it’s true if you live alone in a small space. The moment I take anything out, I have to use it, then wash it or do whatever I do with it, and put it right back where it was. There is simply no extra space to have shit lying around without the apartment immediately feeling cluttered and cramped. If I ate from a bowl, the bowl gets washed and put away, if I wore shoes, I take them off and they go back in the closet, if there are snacks lying around for noshing, no there’s not because I put them away so I could use the ottoman as a footrest. And if you want them, you can bring them back out, but you’re gonna have to put them away when you’re done.
2. My shower liner is full of mold.
SORRY! I’ve frankly known this for a while and been too ashamed about the fact that I need to get rid of a big sheet of plastic, so I’ve just been showering next to growing black dots for months. Cute, right?! I’ve sort of accepted that I’ll just live in filth, because I know how bad I’ll feel when I throw that thing out, but Al reminded me that it is probably “unhealthy” and also “disgusting,” so I’m making a change, ok? I just ordered a linen liner that is washable so I will be using that from here on out!!!! I’m growing. Hopefully I’ll actually wash it and not just let it grow moldy too, but honestly no guarantees.
3. If you say something in a funny voice, that’s how the word is said now.
Let’s be honest, I’ve also known this rule for a rly long time but it feels ESPECIALLY heightened now as Al and I try to make each other laugh in this little room.
Recently, we’ve have been saying the band “MUNA” in the tone of voice of what I can only describe as this guy. Hope that paints a picture but I know it probably doesn’t!!!
4. My bed is best place on earth <3
If I could lay in bed watching TV forever, I would!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How wonderful it is to lay down and watch TV :’) rly dreamy
And speaking of, I think that’s what I’m gonna do right now! Thanks for reading a few of the lessons I’ve learned during my recovery from the novel coronavirus. I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy atm!!!!!
Enjoy your day :]