I know many people in the crowd tonight are public criers, isn’t that right crowd? (crowd goes wild) I obviously don’t know that for sure, but I can guess that it’s true, based on the number of city-dwellers who have subscribed to my critically acclaimed (by my parents) newsletter. One of the key parts about living in a big city is that public and private life frequently intertwine. A lot of times it doesn’t feel like there’s ANY privacy in this GD city (NYC to be exact), and the number of little tushies I’ve seen outside my OFFICE window proves that fact (it faces the Marriott Marquis in Times Square so maybe that’s an unfair advantage).
Do you LOVE how many snarky little comments I had in parentheses in that last paragraph? I do!!! Anyway, there are so many people here and we’re all living literally on top of each other, so it’s expected that we’ll see something we probably weren’t supposed to. I mean, come on, I see people piss in the subway so much I barely register it anymore I’m just like ok happy Tuesday! The point I’m trying to make is that cities make it easier for people to have private moments in public, for better or for worse.
Personally, that’s always been something I love about cities (I mean for the most part. I don’t love the piss-tolerance I’ve developed, but whatever). In college, my favorite place to cry was the steps of the Boston Public Library and even now, when I’m angry or upset, the things that bring me down to earth are public spaces. I can’t exactly put my finger on why but I think it’s the anonymity, the fact that nobody is really looking at me and even if they were, they’re gonna forget about it in two seconds. As an introvert with a tendency to spiral quickly, I always appreciate things that get me out of my head and out of my own way. And the fact that no one’s gonna be weird to me (or at least — hopefully — say anything weird to me) when I’m crying or fuming or acting NUTS! in public helps.
I also kind of like the intimacy you get with all these public-private moments (punch me if I’m starting to sound too “I <3 NY,” that is NOT what I’m going for). I just think it’s sweet to see a couple share a secret on the train, a man fall asleep with his mouth open in the park, best friends come to terms with something difficult on a street corner. I know I’m being sort of romantic and wistful, but it’s just something I’ve always appreciated about city life: escaping in public. It makes whatever stupid problems I’m having feel a lot smaller because, frankly, no one’s gonna give a shit if you’re crying on a bus bench at 3pm. That’s Tuesday!!!
Here is a small list of places I think are great to have public-private moments in NYC (plz send me urs):
Bryant Park
The Q train
Outside Nitehawk in Park Slope
59th St Columbus Circle (the Whole Foods there is a good spot but really can be anywhere)
Ample Hills Creamery on Vanderbilt (<3) (NOT VAN LEEUWEN, THAT PLACE IS TOO COLD)
In line at any Trader Joe’s in the city
Fort Tryon Park!!!
Idk there are so many. Does this make sense or was I letting my Carrie Bradshaw-rising take over here? Who knows. If I was, then I’ll just go on a walk and cry later, no one will notice.
Here’s a sweet pic from this weekend! Al and I were not having a public-private moment, we were just eating avo toast and sometimes that fixes all!!!!!
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