Hello dear readers.
Once again it’s been a bit since you heard from me and I would apologize, but I’ve heard that women apologize too much (I wouldn’t know as I’ve never done anything wrong before), so those words will not be leaving my lips!!! More like NOT sorry, right Demi Lovato?!?!? Where is she, still singing to aliens? Excuse me “extraterrestrial aliens.”
The truth is, you guys, that I’ve been BUSY! Ok?!? I’ve been living my damn life this summer! That doesn’t mean I love you readers any less it just means that I love myself a little more. There is a big difference!! In the last two weeks, I closed out my 25th year of life (it’s actually technically my 26th year but that’s just confusing to readers and only a nerd would nitpick that detail), I watched one of my oldest friends get married to the L of her L, AND I saw Lady Gaga - on the street! JK it was at MetLife stadium - for a Bon Jovi concert! JK it was her concert. I got you fools!!!
All this to say, it’s been #busy and I’m grateful to be #booked and #blessed even though all this excitement has left me #tired and #inneedofanap. That’s the price of a glamorous life, I guess! And glamorous my life has been. So glamorous, in fact, that it’s impossible to capture the scope of it all in just a few sentences. Which is why I will now list off several of the OTHER glamorous things that have happened to me since you heard from me last. If you’re prone to jealousy, now’s the time to change tabs!!
I have not had a second to go grocery shopping all month. I have been living off of take-out thai food and dollar slice pizza and my body and my wallet are mad at me. Last Thursday I had pizza for lunch and dinner and I had the worst BGD of my life (that is an acronym I made up for badgal-diariri)
On Friday, I got myself in a situation where I somehow ended up in a nail salon with 20 minutes to get a pedicure. Don’t as me how this happened, I do not know. After pissing off all the salon employees, I managed to get a perfectly pleasant and efficient pedicure that I then immediately ruined by forgetting to bring sandals and shoving my wet toes into sneakers.
On Saturday, I felt like I was running late for my train to New Jersey (for wedding weekend), so as I got off the Q in Herald Square, I sprinted from up 34th street to Penn Station only to arrive with 5 minutes to spare. That is the equivalent of a century in NJTransit time. An hour later, once I got off the train, my seat had turned into a literal bathtub of butt sweat. Epic.
Continuing on the Saturday thread: when I did get off the train, I was so hungry it felt like my stomach was eating itself. Thankfully, a trusted deli was open and I had 10 minutes before I needed to be at synagogue for wedding business. I wolfed down my sandwich with a speed and intensity that made me consider challenging Joey Chestnut next year. Five minutes later, I felt like ass. You won this time, Chestnut.
That night, I knew I’d need to go to bed early because I had to be up early for official Bridesmaid duties. Instead of going to bed when I felt tired, I repainted my nails four times because I thought they looked weird. Once I was finally happy with them, I went to bed then woke up a few hours later only to discover that the sheets had left indents in the polish. Ultimately, at this juncture all I could say was “epic.”
I told you you’d be jealous!!! Despite (or because of???) my glamorous little adventures (jk btw), the wedding weekend was lovely, wonderful, beautiful, emotional and I was truly honored to be a part of my gorl’s big day!!! And apart from this gorgina wedding, the last few weeks have been a special kind of chaos that have left me with nothing else to do but to throw my hands up and say “bless this mess, y’all” (they also turned me southern).
Here’s hoping that the next few weeks are a bit less hectic or at the very least, just as entertaining. I would say here’s hoping that I get my shit together but we all know that will never happen!!!!
Thanks for reading dear readers. I hope you’re enjoying your own chaotic lives too <333333 XO!!