Menace behavior is an affliction that plagues us all. It is an epidemic that is sweeping the nation and, frankly, the entire world. It is a disease that is eating us from the inside out, turning loved ones against each other. It is… menacing.
What is menace behavior? Allow me to paint some pictures:
A stack of dirty dishes in a sink that are “soaking”
A bare toilet paper tube sitting on it’s holder thing (what are those called?)
A hand soap bottle that’s been refilled with water for the 5th time
All of these practices can be categorized as menace behavior. The dictionary of Lily Blumkin describes menace behavior as a practice or habit, usually contained to living quarters, that is annoying. We all have them and unfortunately, they’ve torn apart relationships, families, roommates, even colleagues. It’s startling when you see the numbers.
Recently, I was made aware of my menace behaviors. Reader, pick your jaw up off the floor. It was a shock to me too, but you really don’t have to gawk, it’s rude. None other than my one and only partner pointed them out to me (to be fair, it was after I called them out for some of their own menace behaviors) and it was difficult. I had to come to terms with the fact that someone even as gorgeous and perfect as me could be annoying. I couldn’t believe it either.
Loyal readers of How Fun! will know that I strive to be as open and honest as I can. So though it pains me to do this, I’ve decided to share some of my menace behaviors with you now (“some” more like ONLY! I am perfect otherwise):
I have a habit of removing an empty toilet paper tube and just leaving them on the ground next to the holder thing. I never put them in the bathroom trash can because I always want to recycle them, but I usually don’t move it to the recycling area immediately (too much work) so it kinda just sits on the ground for a few days before I eventually remove it.
I insist on squeezing toothpaste from the bottom of the tube down so that you don’t miss a drop and when Allison squeezes the toothpaste from the middle, I complain (and I also fix their toothpaste at their apartment).
I save every single bottle of shampoo/body wash/lotion what have you until I am 100% sure I’ve squeezed every last drop out of it. I also frequently keep empty bottles in the shower because I refuse to believe there’s nothing left; I always think I can get a liiiiiittle bit more.
I’m a frequent pants-er in the home (insane to call this annoying, more like ENDEARING!)
At least once a week, I turn, sniffing the air, to Al and say “do you smell that?” to which they roll their eyes because they know the next thing I’m gonna say is “kinda smells like updog in here…” (TRULY insane to call this annoying as well).
Ultimately, as painful as it was to get all of that out, I’m at least glad to have a list of my five flaws. Although I know there is not yet a cure for menace behavior, it’s helpful to be aware of the problems so that I can work towards bettering myself (though again, I don’t really need to).
As a society, we all can work on our adjusting menace behaviors — some of us more than others — for the betterment of our loved ones, our communities, and ourselves. Hopefully, that will be the solution for us to, at last, know peace.
Until that happens, I wish us all well on our journey of discovery and acceptance. I’m already making strides.
Please:
If this is your first time:
And/or:
Godbless you all!