We all know about the circle of life. It’s so well-known, in fact, they made a song about it! It’s actually a pretty good song if you haven’t heard it. I can send it to you.
But I’m not gonna talk about The Circle of Life™. I’m not even gonna talk about lifecycles (I know what you were thinking after you read this title. Well PSYCH I got ur asses). Instead, I’m going to talk about Life’s Cycles. Lily, tf are life’s cycles, can’t you just say “lifecycle” and spell it normally? Ok, can YOU literally chill out, reader?! I’m getting there! Jeez!
Life’s cycles are those chores/responsibilities we all have that, despite completing them efficiently AND effectively, somehow always exist. I’m talking about the doing of the laundry, the washing of the dishes, the taking out of the trash etc etc. You know the cycles. The ones that you do every day or every week over and over until you die. They are the stuff of life and yet? They are the bane of my existence!!!!!
Riddle me this: why is it that when things in my life are going well, I’m on top of life’s cycles and when things are going poorly, shit piles up, gets dirty, and the stenches linger? I mean I know why; when you’re feeling depresso, it’s harder to do simple tasks, isn’t that like the first thing they ask on those behavioral questionnaires? So then riddle me THIS: how come when I feel depresso, it makes me feel better to do simple tasks like make my bed, do the dishes, take out the trash? ?!?! You’re telling me that the very things that feel impossible to do when I’m depressed are the same things that could help me start to help me feel better??? Mmmmm that sounds wrong.
But it’s not! At least, it’s not for me. If, after I’ve spent several hours wallowing in bed, I somehow muster the energy to do a load of laundry, I’m like ok!!!! Did I just make Forbes 30 under 30 because it sure feels good to be so young and so successful!!!!! Now, I want to be CLEAR: I am not saying that the way to manage your mental health issues is to… do your laundry, that is obviously not true (not that I think any readers would make this conclusion because there are like 10 of you and you all know me and know that I am in therapy) (Also, hey, sorry I yelled at you guys earlier, I was just in a mood, I didn’t mean it). The point I’m trying to make is that I personally feel a bit more energized/motivated if I manage to complete one of life’s cycles. Go figure!!!
But as we discovered earlier, there’s a catch: THEY NEVER END!!!!!!!!! Truly. Never! Even if you’re the richest person on earth, you still get sucked into life’s cycles. I’m sure even Jeff Bezos washes a dish every now and then (lol who am I kidding that guy doesn’t do shit for himself. He honestly probably doesn’t even shit for himself. Someone pushes for him). But really, it sometimes feels overwhelming to accept the fact that even if I summon the power to complete a chore, the cycle will just restart itself and I’ll have to do the same chore in a matter of hours. And then it keeps going on and on like this until you die and then someone else has to take care of your stuff. Everybody says cockroaches will outlive us all but really life’s cycles will. We do our laundry and god laughs.
On her podcast, Tig Notaro said that you’ll never be caught up in life. I think about that a lot because I frequently feel behind in many things: shows, books, sleep. But the more I live alone, the more I think she was really talking about life’s cycles: you’ll never be at a place where the laundry is done, the house is clean, you have groceries for the week, AND you did all your work (but also she has two little kids so what the heck am I even complaining about?!)
Is this depressing? Maybe, lolz. I mostly think it’s funny that I could be riding high after clearing an entire sink of dirty dishes and then two hours later, there’s somehow an even bigger pile that I can’t summon the courage to clean. Life can really pull ya up then shove ya right back sown can’t she!!! (I also don’t have a dishwasher so maybe that’s my real issue).
Anyway, what’s the point here? The point is that life? Has it’s cycles. (Period voibes) And maybe it’ll make our lives easier (I’m talking about myself) if we don’t set completion as the goal. Instead, we (I) can accept the fact that it’s all a cycle, that it’ll never end and maybe the best we (once again, I) can do is as much as we can, whenever we can (you get it at this point). Wow so earnest!!!! Again, I’ve had a LOT of therapy!!!
That’s all from me this week. It wasn’t really as funny as last week’s but maybe funny is a cycle too.
If you want to read that or any of the past newsletters, click:
Or if this is your first time:
I love ya!!!!!!
P.S. Haven’t shared a photo in a while (haven’t had a lot happening lol) so here’s a pic from the week where I did my first live show in a while (audience was virtch bc of sir omi). I played a bar mitzvah boy’s best friend who was secretly in love with him and it was very fun! I love live performance!!!