I went to college and I strongly believe in the value of a good education. I also believe in the value of allowing myself to be a dumb bitch because most of the time, I am, and I think that’s amazing. Here are several of the perks you get when you are a dumb bitch:
1) having poop/fart jokes be a part of your brand
2) an endless supply of bad singing/dancing
3) sudden urges to clean everything at 11:30pm
4) silliness :p
To name a few!!! One of the best parts about being a dumb bitch is that I get to ignore major facets of my life because I either don’t — or I choose not to — understand them. For instance: health insurance, most song lyrics, and recently, my pet allergy.
I always knew I was allergic to cats but it wasn’t until recently that I learned I was, tragically, also allergic to dogs (“kind of a lot” was the official diagnosis). This was very heartbreaking for me as someone who WILL get a dog when I grow up (and who is clearly NOT bitter about not growing up with one). I love dogs!!! They are perfect even when they’re crazy and take big poops and have bad breath. They’re beautiful! And unconditional in their love for you because you feed them and play with them and give them little kisses on their head, how special is that! It is simply the most special!!!!
I’ve always wanted a love like that and when I learned of this “so-called allergy,” I felt betrayed by my own body. So I did what any dumb bitch would do and decided to completely ignore it ;) I will have my dog kisses no matter what you say, allergens! (Dumb bitches in the crowd are roaring in agreement)
Now, you may be thinking, Lily, bodies don’t ignore allergies just because you want them to. And while that is RLY invalidating of MY emotional JOURNEY, you are absolutely correct and please stop trying to show off. This week, Allison is dog (and cat) sitting two very adorable animals and tragically, every time I go to the apartment, I cannot breathe :)
Yet, judging by the title of this post, you can probably guess what I’m doing which is: persisting, nevertheless. That’s right, I am still showing up to this fur-infested dungeon to see the animals because they are adorable and deserve little kisses for doing a good job sitting and eating and, who, if not me, will provide those to them??? (Allison will) BUT STILL! I want to see them and shower them in love because there are few things as pure and simple as love from a pet and when we find that kind of joy in this day and age, we have to hold onto it, allergens be damned. Right?!
So, yes, I am once again choosing ignorance, indulging my dumb bitch side and generally disregarding my sneezing fits and watery eyes. And I think that is wonderful, because it lets me pet this friend!!!!!
How special!!!!!!
That is all 4 today. Do you identify as a dumb bitch? Plz do share how and tell me all your wonderful experiences of dumb bitchness.
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