Fun This Week: Peeing in a Lake

It's some sort of metaphor, we'll figure it out together.

My first official newsletter! Well, that’s not actually true. Real fans saw that I had one post up already that was incredibly rambly, incredibly self-conscious (in an adorably charming way), and incredibly sexy somehow??? That is my vibe. Newsletter’s gonna be no different.

Thanks for being here! Here’s what’s fun this week:

Over the weekend, my partner Allison and I went to visit my parents in western Massachusetts. That’s where they live these days. I love being there this time of year; everything’s lush and green and the farmer’s market plays live music while bougie white moms buy cauliflower that they’ll roast for dinner with their gay kids. It feels like a different world. It is a different world!

My favorite spot to go to when I’m there is this little lake near our house. It’s pretty small but always full of people (mostly kids whose hot millennial parents talk shit about them while they scream at each other and play Marco Polo). I love this lake because it’s calm, the water’s never too cold, and you’re allowed to swim wherever you want. (!)

I don’t know what it is about swimming but that damn activity has made me so emotional these last few years (is this what aging does to you?). It’s probably because I took this queer Judaism class in college and it taught me about mikvehs and how water is a liminal space and then I saw someone much smarter than me present their thesis and talk about water and the second season of Transparent where swimming/water becomes a huge vessel for Ari to uncover their past and relationship to gender and now I’m just like water is GAY!!!!!! (hi mom and dad thanks for reading this)

Anyway, that’s not what this is about. All I wanted to say was that we went to the lake and I was overjoyed to be there.

We swam for a bit and then I needed to pee. uH OH!!!! Drama ALERT!!! wHeRe ArE yOu gOnNa PeE?!?! Obviously, I peed in the lake. It’s a lake. Everyone pees in it.

But here’s a question I have for you, dear friends and one lover, WHAT is your experience of peeing in a lake, or really any body of water? Is it gross? Anxiety-inducing? Thrilling? For me, it’s sort of vulnerable. Or maybe that’s just because, when I pee, I tell everyone I’m swimming with that I’m gonna go off and do it and then I proceed to make direct eye contact and shoot a thumbs up while it’s happening. I don’t know what it is about peeing in a body of water that feels, for me, both cleansing and disgusting at the same time, both uncomfortable but so relieving. Mostly, it feels sneaky, like I’m breaking some sort of rule.

Maybe that’s because it’s probably not “great” to pee in a lake. It probably isn’t “advised.” But see above: everyone does it, right? I think what makes it feel extra exposing is the fact that I’m making a private thing public (“public” she says, as if everyone on planet earth is watching and knowing that she’s pissing right now. That’s the kind of main character energy we love to see during leo season). But with that exposure comes a closeness. These people are seeing a side of me I rarely show to anyone.

I’ve always felt a strange sense of intimacy when I pee around other people or when they pee around me. Weirdly specific, but true. It’s like we’re sharing something personal with each other. Why is it that some of the nastiest shit our bodies create sometimes bring us closer together? My parents always act like nothing my brother or I do is gonna gross them out because they wiped our butts and cleaned up our vomit. It’s intimate to see people at their least inhibited, isn’t it?

All this to say that I didn’t pee in the lake and then suddenly feel an unbreakable connection to everyone around me and all living creatures on planet earth (but talk to me again after I’ve taken an edible). All this to say that my experience of peeing in a lake is like sharing a secret with someone you love. You know you probably shouldn’t do it, but doesn’t it feel good to get it out?

Do you like to pee in a lake? Does it feel teehee good to you or do you feel panicked and grossed out? #drop a comment and let me know, jk feel free to share or not, truly it’s up to you. I’m always curious if these sort of feelings are common or if I’m just an absolute freak (could be both!)

Thanks for reading How Fun #1! We’ll see if this is how the rest of the newsletters are gonna be. Maybe more talk about bodily fluids but probably less (thank god, you’re saying). Still, I can’t predict the future, so who’s to say! (I’ll talk about peeing less)

Hope 2 c u back here soon :)

P.S. if you’re new:

It would mean the world 2 me :’)

And finally, here is a pic of said lake, happiest place on earth

Bye!!!